October

This is to sum up my October;

Basically, Halloween. That is like the only thing that has happened. I went to a Halloween dance...which is pretty normal, right??? Well, it was a new experience because it was on a boat. It was pretty cool. I had a lot of fun! Stayed up on top with fresh air, even though you didn't have your own "bubble". You were always up on someone. But you know how whenever you go and there are hundreds of people...and you all ways have those certain people you can go to??? Well, I don't have that here. IN Kansas/Missouri....you know how many people I could go and just hang out with??? I do have my brother and his girlfriend and sha at church. And my friend Matt who isn't a member but he has come to church...and has the BOM. It is a work in progress! I miss having those certain people to turn to. You know who you are. :) The boat dance was GREAT fun but when time started winding down, I just got depressed. Looking around wishing, I had those familiar faces there with me. How lame am I??? I know, I have to move on, make new friends. Well, I am trying but the friends that I already have are my BEST friends and nothing could ever replace them. So, there will all ways be that whole missing...for a little while, until we all can see each other on those short visits, when I or they can afford it and have spare time. But I am up for making new friends but it is never the same and I know it won't be. I just have to try harder to open up and be myself and to let everyone know\see the real me. I feel like the people here are to uptight and absorbed with themselves here and very clickish. Like they invite others but they don't really pay any attention to them...just the certain people because they don't want anyone to think it's clickish...because they always talk to us about being unity. They are ALL great people. I am just use to something entirely different. I raised entirely different is why. I just need time. It's like that song; better in time by leona lewis.

Thanksgiving is coming up and a few of my best friends are coming I wish that Anie could be here but I'll see her soon, hopefully. But with them coming...is something I need and I've been longing for. I do know that this move has made me realize how much my friends (the ones who have actually kept in touch with me) mean to me. And how I know that everyone of them will all ways be in my life, forever.